Stealing, cheating & begging my way to work….

This morning was not a very good morning. I had a good taste of what it must be like to not have any money or friends to help you, and only your wits to get you through.

I left for work very late today – I was hustling just to make the last reasonable train out of Penn station and rushed out without my wallet. This, I did not discover, until I got to the subway station. Frantically, I riffled through my oversized workbag and realized with a sinking feeling that I had left my Metrocard and wallet in another purse I had used the night before. Damn Howard and Kumar! My sister and I would not have made the 14 block trek through the rain, and I would not have needed to bring my wallet in another purse, had they not built up so much mystique around White Castle. Just then, I heard the subway train pulling into the station and realized that not catching it would mean that I would miss my NJ transit train and get into work after 10am. I decided to steal a ride (technically, I’d paid for my ride with my monthly Metrocard already…), and slipped under the turnstile and onto the subway.

I’d just made it on the NJ transit train as it was pulling away from Penn station. Luckily, I kept my stack of NJ transit tickets in my work bag so I would be able to get to work without any cash. With a sign of relief I reached for my cellphone to call a cab, to take me from the train station to work. My plan was to get the cabbie to wait for me outside work, while I ran in and borrowed some money to pay him with from a colleague. To my surprise & horror, there was no phone in my bag. I would be stranded at the train station! I only had NJ transit tickets to a station without a taxi stand – I would always have to call ahead for a cab. Without my phone, I wouldn’t be able to get work. One station down, there was a taxi stand from which I could get a ride, but I didn’t have any money to pay for the difference in the fare.

The forty minutes on the train stretched out as I contemplated what to do. Somebody came to sit beside me, and I was hypnotized by the crisp twenty he pulled out to pay for a ticket. I was nearly salivating. I felt like one of those wretched scavenger jackals in The Lion King, hungrily coveting something that I had no right to have. As we came up to the station where I was supposed to get off, a train ticket guy asked me, “So you’re getting off next, right?” I managed a feeble, “Yes.” What could I do?

When we got to the stop, I had to get out of my seat as the person next to me had overhead the exchange I’d had with the ticket guy, and I actually stepped off the train in resigned shame. I had no money, no phone, I didn’t see any cab-like cars waiting around for other passengers, and so I panicked and got back onboard. I sat down quickly in another car, far away from my previous seatmate, and got off at the next stop without anyone being the wiser.

I expect to be able to quickly find a taxi at the stand outside the station, and I was planning to use the same run-into-work-and-borrow-money-from colleague-for-cabfare scheme. Unfortunately, there were no taxis available and a line of people waiting – I think they were trying to get to the PGA tournament. Who knew Tiger was meeting me at work?!

My last resort was to take the bus. With nothing of value on me but my watch, laptop and a couple of NJ transit tickets, I pleaded at the ticket booth for a refund of a couple of my tickets. I even told the ticket agent that I didn’t have a dime and was stuck at the station, but the hard-hearted man would not give in. In considered trying to resell my tickets to other people in the station, but couldn’t get images of shady men with Rolexes in their trenchcoats out of my head. I went outside and waited by the bus stop. I was hoping that I could beg the bus driver to give me a free lift but considered how horrible it would be turned down. I eventually went up to an elderly woman who was fumbling around in her wallet, and begged her for $1 for the bus. She informed me that it actually would cost $1.25 and asked me if I had a quarter. I told her that I didn’t….ohhhhh, it was pathetic. She looked pityingly at me, gave me $1.25 and inquired how I would get home. She was a very sweet lady. I told her I would borrow some money from someone once I got to work and thanked her profusely.

We both got off at the same stop and I found out that she worked at Saks. I promised I’d come over at lunch and find her to pay her back, but she shook her head and told me to just do the same next time for someone else. I walked quickly into work and was very thankful that one can still rely on the kindness of strangers.