linear movement
why isn't the world flat, our paths straight and narrow, and truths absolute?
when i keep myself busy enough, i forget about all the shades and color around me...but every so often, my mind wanders and i'm floored by the complexity.
for example, i've been thinking a lot about job satisfaction. before i had a job, i aspired to have a career that would always challenge, excite, and be impactful. now, i am becoming more open to the idea of tradeoff to maintain my sanity, though this thought makes me feel a bit guilty/lazy.
recently, i was reminded of a song i liked a lot by erykah badu, "next lifetime." when i used to listen to this song, it made me really sad, because i believed in it and believed that people are a bit powerless in affecting life's course. now, and related to some conversations with the girls, i don't think it makes any sense at all. not then at 20, not now at 23, not even at 36, 59, or 87.
i guess life is a lot simpler to explain to a child when the world is just 0s and 1s. when you expect to grow up to be a lawyer, to have 2 kids and 2 cars, to live near your mom and dad, to pay taxes and have a picket fence, and to go on vacation twice a year. now, even my mother's taken off the candy-coating assurance, which is perhaps the most disturbing aspect of all of this to me. last night she said, "the future is uncertain, so you must live now."
when i keep myself busy enough, i forget about all the shades and color around me...but every so often, my mind wanders and i'm floored by the complexity.
for example, i've been thinking a lot about job satisfaction. before i had a job, i aspired to have a career that would always challenge, excite, and be impactful. now, i am becoming more open to the idea of tradeoff to maintain my sanity, though this thought makes me feel a bit guilty/lazy.
recently, i was reminded of a song i liked a lot by erykah badu, "next lifetime." when i used to listen to this song, it made me really sad, because i believed in it and believed that people are a bit powerless in affecting life's course. now, and related to some conversations with the girls, i don't think it makes any sense at all. not then at 20, not now at 23, not even at 36, 59, or 87.
i guess life is a lot simpler to explain to a child when the world is just 0s and 1s. when you expect to grow up to be a lawyer, to have 2 kids and 2 cars, to live near your mom and dad, to pay taxes and have a picket fence, and to go on vacation twice a year. now, even my mother's taken off the candy-coating assurance, which is perhaps the most disturbing aspect of all of this to me. last night she said, "the future is uncertain, so you must live now."
posted by cat & elvin @ 10:08 AM
1 Comments:
At 3:36 PM,
C said…
Probably not a coincidence that I have also been thinking about "Next Lifetime" again recently... more than anything, it makes me wistful... and you're right, more than a little sad. Looking at it now, it must've been my bubble again, because I used to still see some degree of hope behind the whole thing... as you point out though, maybe that's just really dumb...
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