linear movement

why isn't the world flat, our paths straight and narrow, and truths absolute?

when i keep myself busy enough, i forget about all the shades and color around me...but every so often, my mind wanders and i'm floored by the complexity.

for example, i've been thinking a lot about job satisfaction. before i had a job, i aspired to have a career that would always challenge, excite, and be impactful. now, i am becoming more open to the idea of tradeoff to maintain my sanity, though this thought makes me feel a bit guilty/lazy.

recently, i was reminded of a song i liked a lot by erykah badu, "next lifetime." when i used to listen to this song, it made me really sad, because i believed in it and believed that people are a bit powerless in affecting life's course. now, and related to some conversations with the girls, i don't think it makes any sense at all. not then at 20, not now at 23, not even at 36, 59, or 87.

i guess life is a lot simpler to explain to a child when the world is just 0s and 1s. when you expect to grow up to be a lawyer, to have 2 kids and 2 cars, to live near your mom and dad, to pay taxes and have a picket fence, and to go on vacation twice a year. now, even my mother's taken off the candy-coating assurance, which is perhaps the most disturbing aspect of all of this to me. last night she said, "the future is uncertain, so you must live now."

Sheer numbers

4 - wine glasses broken in the last week...all while sober

5 - friends between me and a free IPod

12 - different periodicals currently available in the living room, including Scientific American, Fortune, Modern Bride, Lucky, National Geographic, Business Week, the Wall Street Journal, Reader's Digest, Time, MIT SLoane Business Review, Elle, The New Criterion

13 - bottles of Clinique shampoo that are being delivered to this apartment in a box a day (not our fault - it's Christine's crazy Canadian friend who found out her favourite shampoo is being discontinued in Canada)

24 - approaching ages

25 - black balloons adorning this apartment

46 - percentage drop in price of my company's stock in last week and a half, but we're coming back now

50 - pounds of pumpkin bought tonight

156 - dollars, the cost of all that Clinique shampoo from Nordstrom, before tax

318 - text messages received last month (I'm still not sure where they are in my phone, because I sure didn't read that many)

500 - ballpark number of pages Christine reads every week for school

Things that crack me up...

My roommate Christine is such a nut. I find it hilarious and ridiculous that she gets really really excited by sweepstakes. You know, the one in a billion chances to win something.

The first time this surfaced, we were talking about an Air Canada Aeroplan (the frequent flier program) promotion. We had both separately received a letter about the chance to win like 100,000 miles. For those of you who aren't points junkies, that is enough to fly roundtrip in North America 4-6 times, or to fly to Asia once. You would be entered into a draw each time you flew on Air Canada. I had tossed the notice whereas she broadcast this news with bubbly excitement.

Today, she got a notice from Capital One that she could win the equivalent of the sum of all the things she charged in the 2004. Again, excessive enthusiasm. I made fun of her. She read the fine print and amusedly relayed that her chance of winning is estimated to be around 1 in 100 million.

Is it just me??

Another thing that gets me - she thinks it's sooooo cool that Home Depot has come to Manhattan.

Happy Cat

I have been sooooo happy these last couple of days.

Things to be thankful for:

1) VACATION - a whole month of it

2) End of boring case - thanks to #1 above

3) Volunteering - painting dancing fruit (see Christine's post) and doing power lunch (reading Harry Potter to this wonderful 4th grader every other Friday makes me smiley all day long and every time I think about it!)

4) Pumpkin bash - I can't wait to dress up as a pirate

5) Seeing friends - so nice to stay in touch =D

6) Sleep - I am much much happier when I've had my 12-15 hours/weekend night. As I've told Christine recently, I think I've got being a 'grumpy pants' under control these days (making life much more pleasant for those around me), but instead have channeled my unhappiness into doubting interest in my job/etc...

7) Not having to pay for immunization shots. I love health insurance.

In other news - I've started freaking out about looking old. I've purchased a grab bag of anti-aging anti-wrinkle creams and am trialing them to see if they help. Scary!! I thought this stuff was for old people (e.g. women in their 40s??). Now I aspire to be that Oil of Olay Top Gun flight instructor.

I am also having vivid emotional dreams. Hopefully vacation takes care of that.

Not so fabulous fabulous day

Today should have been a perfect day. My case team was having an offsite event at a golf resort in Virginia, where we were to do some work in the morning, golf in the afternoon, and have a fabulous dinner to cap off the day.

As we all know, and despite having my own set of golf clubs, I am no golfer. I approached the day with trepidation, though Katie's success story about her recent work golfing day with a bunch of non-golfers was inspiring. My plan was to hangout with some of the younger people on my team (most of whom do not golf either), and stay positive...

I think I must have gotten up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Per my last 2 month routine of getting up god awful early (~5-6am) to work (DD would be proud... where has the sleep monster gone?), I was planning to finish up my direct marketing review and get ready before my car pickup at 7. I had to switch on the light to avoid sleeping through another snooze at 6:15, and by the time I turned on my laptop, I only had enough time to download my email. Scrambling to at least have a strong tea before I rushed out the door, I found that we were out of milk. In these circumstances, I have found that vanilla ice cream can work very well. As this was also not available, I resorted to using a creme liquor, and felt like I was a closet AA. Thank goodness Christine was still sleeping!

So the direct marketing review wasn't done. I had to pull that together quickly in the morning after the flight, but seperately had met a nice lady from Victoria Secrets Beauty at Teeterborough (sp?) flying down to Columbus for Limited's quarterly analyst presentation, so that made my morning better.

The golfing part of the day, however, was less than wonderful. Christine had outfitted me perfectly (I don't even own a pair of khakis anymore) from head to ankle, but I wore my own running shoes. My running shoes are great for running and walking, because they are made from a lightweight mesh fabric - excellent for breathability. On a wet, cold day like today, my feet were completely soaked within 10 minutes of walking around on the green. Yuck! I had to make a phone call and work some things out with a client just before our tee off, so I didn't get a chance to warm up on their driving range. My plan to golf with the young'uns fell through because most of them were still stuck in a meeting, so I ended up golfing with three fairly good golfers - the main partner (who is intimidating though tries to be nice), my case manager (who was nice, but had to really babysit me and tell me how to hit, which club to use, how to drive the cart, how to get out of a sand trap, etc...), and a new associate (who is sarcastic and semi-ugh!!). I decided to call it a day after 9 holes. I was starting to hit better from about hole 3 to 7, but then stopped being able to even make contact. So embarrassing. My last conversation with my case manager went something like this..."so I hear the driving range at Chelsea Piers is really good...they have special events, discount nights,..."

I got back to my room, took a nap, and then headed back down to dinner. Instead of a nice steak dinner, we decided to watch the game (poor Yankees!) in the resort's sports bar. Again, like a fish out of water, I had to avidly pay attention to something I have between 10-20% interest in. When pressed for which team I was rooting for, I tossed a coin in my head and said NY. While I admired Boston's uniforms much more (the red stockings are adorable!), how could I justify being a Red Socks fan, knowing nothing about them besides that they're cursed.

All in all, it wasn't a terrible day. It's nice to be out of the office, and doing minimal work. However, it is also quite clear that there are some key skills that a business person (or aspiring business person) needs to develop.

1) Proficiency in key sports
2) Working knowledge of professional sports (gag me with a spoon)
3) Non-work work wardrobe (or have roommate with excellent selection)

These are all obvious points, and things that have been on my to-do list for quite some time. Today was just a big reminder of why they are so important.

Homecoming

I'm going to Homecoming tomorrow morning. Since I graduated about a year and a half ago, I've been back to Penn a couple times for recruiting events or to visit friends in Philly, but I haven't had the chance to just walk around and soak it all in.

I'm excited but also a little nervous at what I'll find. Beloved cobbled stone steps, green lawns, and crisp Fall air await, but I know that it won't feel like 'home' anymore. This magical place will have passed onto a new generation of student. Friendships, papers, and foam parties will be reinvented with a new cast.

I'm feeling a little displaced right now. I'm not sure where home is anymore. When I moved to Philly, Penn truly felt like home, even after a couple of months. After over a year, New York still does not feel like home. However, there isn't anywhere else I'd rather be or that I think would feel more homey...

For now, I'll settle for getting to revisit a place where I have so many fond memories. Tomorrow, I'll be there, proudly donning a 'Puck Frincton' t-shirt, wistfully strolling along the walk.

My New Obsession

It took me almost half an hour this morning to figure out what to wear to work. No, I didn't have an important client meeting or a special rendez-vous after work. It is because I have a new obsession, which I am furiously trying to keep under wraps.

I am addicted to wearing ribbons.

It only started about a month ago, when I was trying to put together the perfect outfit for my cousin Terry's wedding, but now I look for ribbons/bows on every shopping expedition and try to work them into my wardrobe EVERYDAY.

I've already made myself return a houndstouth jacket with a cute bow belt from BR. I've also vetoed wearing ribbons in the wrist loopholes on my denim jacket. But this morning, I really really wanted to wear another jacket that I have with a black ribbon waist belt (somebody asked me if I was wearing a bowtie around my waist on a previous occasion). I had just worn it to work the previous Friday and after much deliberation (hoping that wearing it with different pants and accessories would make the look completely different), I took it off.

I struggled with what else to wear, and finally settled on a chunky brown wrap sweater that I tied a burgundy ribbon around. I fought with myself on my way out the door, but it stayed on, and I am very happy!

I am already trying to figure out how to wear a pink ribbon hairband in the coming days...I can't wait for Halloween!